I just reborn, how come I become a scumbag?

Chapter 521

When Tan Zijin learned this information, she was quite calm, and she felt that it was as expected.

But then, she became a little emotional.

It was not a feeling of secret happiness and relief, but a feeling of distress and reluctance for Xiao Xu.

Heartbroken?

How sad would that be?

She also didn't understand why Xiao Xu, such a good boy, had been chasing that school beauty for so long, and why didn't she agree?

When she was in the second year of high school, Wang Fang liked to tell the story between Xiao Xu and the school beauty the most, and said that they would definitely get married, just like what was written in the novel.

Tan Zijin knew that Xiao Xu had that school beauty in his heart.

Maybe he just couldn't get her, so he turned around and saw her, so he appeared by her side?

Not the first choice.

Nor was it a firm choice.

But Tan Zijin would still feel fortunate and flattered in her heart.

It's just...

After the National Day, she found that she didn't know how to face Xiao Xu anymore.

In the past, she could not think too much and lie to herself.

But now, with the answer, it seems that it has become more and more difficult to lie to herself.

After entering university, Tan Zijin ushered in the fastest growth period of her life, because she walked out of a small county town and entered a prestigious school platform with top educational resources.

She likes to go to the library, study by herself every day, and write down every sentence Xiao Xu said in a notebook, thinking and digesting it seriously.

She gradually stopped saying stupid things like before.

But she still made fools in her heart.

It's like every time she sees Xiao Xu, she can't help blushing and her heartbeat speeds up, and then she is too shy to look up.

Every time Xiao Xu pays for her, Tan Zijin's inner emotions still fluctuate so much, that is, she makes fools, and impulsively thinks in her heart, Xiao Xu, you can ask me to do anything, I am willing to do it.

But what is growth?

It is to learn to control and hide one's inner impulses!

Gradually, Tan Zijin seemed to have figured out one thing, that boy, he did not belong to her.

One day before, she was flipping through a book in the library and accidentally saw a sentence:

"The moonlight shines on me, but the moon will not belong to me"

Just like the year of high school, when her deskmate Wang Fang pulled her and hid in the crowd.

Wang Fang secretly pointed at the pair of Xu Anruo and Cheng Xuanyu in front of her, who were as eye-catching and warm as the sun, and Tan Zijin at that time was so cautious and timid even to look at them.

Moreover, if she looked at them more, she would feel guilty, and there would be a voice in her heart questioning her, what are you thinking? Why? What qualifications do you have? Look at your conditions and think about the burden on you...

This sense of guilt has been around for a long time.

Tan Zijin would be like this if she spent one more cent.

It would be the same if I looked at the beautiful clothes in the window for a second while passing by the street.

Even...

I learned from my female classmate in the third year of high school that it might be because Xu Anruo couldn't catch up with the school beauty that she turned around and saw me, so the moonlight shone on me.

Tan Zijin actually felt a strange sense of relief in her heart.

Before that, all kinds of illusions and fantasies about Xiao Xu also made her feel guilty. After confirming that it was her own illusions and fantasies, Tan Zijin would think, ah, it was originally like that, she didn't deserve it.

Then Tan Zijin tried to simplify everything.

She told herself that it was Xiao Xu who changed and saved her family. This was a great favor, she had to remember it, she had to repay it, so she had those stupid words and impulsive thoughts, saying that she could do anything.

Yes.

It's that simple.

Seeing Xiao Xu, she blushed and dared not look up. It was also because she felt indebted. She felt that she had received too much favor and could not repay him at the moment, so she was ashamed to face it.

It was not that kind of feeling!

How could it be that kind of feeling?

But!

But ah! !

The relationship between the two families was brought closer.

Feedback and hints from all directions.

Xiao Xu could have said it clearly, but he was always ambiguous.

And then it was tonight!

Maybe because she successfully hosted the freshman party, Tan Zijin felt that she was a little too proud, so she thought a little recklessly, I seem to be qualified to stand next to Xiao Xu, right?

As soon as the thought came out, she was immediately suppressed, so she didn't know what to say.

We should definitely celebrate.

Xiao Xu was obviously happy for me tonight.

But I seemed to have ruined the atmosphere. Xiao Xu was originally very happy, but was obviously disappointed because of me.Quite a lot.

But fortunately, Xiao Xu suggested that we go for a walk by Qingxi Lake.

Then Xiao Xu started to praise people again, and the more he praised, the more exaggerated he was. How could that be? Too exaggerated. Am I really that good?

Then, Xiao Xu suddenly hugged me!

He, he hugged me? ?

Tan Zijin only remembered that her mind was blank, as if she had fainted directly, her body was very stiff, and she felt like she was dreaming, and everything was so unreal.

But she was really in his arms!

The feeling of dependence and being supported that she had never felt before made Tan Zijin completely at a loss, but some emotions that seemed to have been suppressed in her heart suddenly burst out like the collapse of the sky and the earth.

She cried.

She found that she really wanted to hug Xiao Xu.

However, Tan Zijin still didn't dare, so she mustered up great courage and said stupid things impulsively like before, asking, Xiao Xu, can I hug you?

Xiao Xu said, if you can't do it, then who can?

What does this mean?

Xiao Xu didn't say yes or no, but responded like this?

So, if I can't do it, then others can't do it either, right?

So I'm so important and special in Xiao Xu's heart?

At that moment, Tan Zijin felt that her heart was invaded, wrapped, healed, and heated by endless warmth.

She finally had the confidence to hug Xiao Xu!

Then, Xiao Xu said a lot, and when she said that she felt unworthy, Tan Zijin realized that the walls she had built in her heart were completely broken.

Yes!

That's the feeling of unworthiness!

I have always felt that I am unworthy!

So I dare not think about it, dare not face it, and even lie to myself!

Is it really like this?

No!

At least not for Xiao Xu!

It is not because I accepted his help that I am grateful.

It is not because he changed and healed myself and the family behind him that I feel that I cannot repay him, so I am stupidly willing to do anything for him.

Touching is the beginning, and the heartbeat is the true feeling of my feelings for Xiao Xu!